Undying Love
by Flowerlady
Summary: Post NJO, AU...Jaina Solo, Kyp Durron...Jaina finds the courage to go on.


**Title:** Undying Love  
**Author:** Flowerlady  
**Timeframe:** post-NJO UA, (Dark Nest never happens)  
**Characters:** Jaina, Kyp  
**Genre:** Angst, viggy  
**Summary:**Jaina finds the courage to go on.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Only playing.

**Author Note: **reviews welcome...

It was cold and a wind blew over the memorial field at Ossus. The sky was turning purple as the sun had already set and the first stars were appearing. She stood looking up and quietly watched as they twinkled into existence while she pulled the Jedi robe tighter around her. She found herself wondering again just how many of them she had been to. How many they had been to together.

Jaina moved her gaze down to the marker that she came to visit nearly every evening after her teaching duties were done. There was no body beneath the grave maker nor was there any ashes from a pyre as was Jedi tradition. No, she had held the man whose name is written on the cold grey, red and black polished stone and watched as he completely disappeared, which left her with only his blaster scorched Jedi robes to remember their last mission. Their life together.

Well, that was not completely true.

She caressed her greatly distended abdomen, she had not known of the two lives that he had helped create were within her. Not then, for they were too new. She felt the one on the right kick her and she smiled as she rubbed over him. She tried to take a deep breath to calm her and hopefully the baby boy. It was more of a gulp. She had not been able to fully fill her lungs since she was five months pregnant. That had been nearly four months ago.

She somehow knew that tonight she would bring forth her sons—twins. She could sense their unease as if they were aware that something was going to happen. She reached out to them to caress their tiny minds and to reassure them; although, they had been very still all day, which was very unlike them, she could feel the uncertainty in their infant minds. As they reached out to her she found herself marveling again at their strength in the Force—his strength, she was sure. She had become a Master shortly before their marriage but he had possessed a strength nearly as great as her uncle.

She knew what their names would be and she hoped their father would have approved. The man to whom the name on the marker belonged, the man she loved beyond all reason, her best friend, her partner, her mentor, her lover. She wondered how she ever thought she could have loved anyone else.

The wind howled around her and she knew she should go in. But she couldn't. Master Jedi Jaina Solo-Durron had come out here to remember the man she loved, the father of her sons.

"Oh, Kyp, I miss you so much," she whispered softly into the wind. "Why did you have to leave me?" The wind blew around her again but this time as it touched her face it didn't feel quite as cold. It dried the tears on her cheeks and she closed her eyes. She could almost imagine Kyp's rough fingers wiping them away.

The last time she had felt him touch her so was when she held him tightly, his head on her lap, after he had been shot.

X

They had been on the Outer Rim planet Woldor trying to mediate a border dispute between the two sentient species of the forest and swamp land world. The Woldori the peaceful one meter tall furballs were trying to hold on to their traditional forest lands that the more warlike reptilian Dorlarians wanted to take. Jania and Kyp negotiated for a summit of the two sides to work out a treaty in a neutral human settlement. But the Dorlarians had other plans. The Warrior Chiefs somehow snuck in weapons and opened fire on the surprised and unarmed Woldori Clan-Chiefs. Jaina and Kyp were caught in the middle trying to defend the defenseless Woldori from the twenty or more enemy blasters with only their lightsabers. Back up finally came but it was too little too late. Fifteen of the Woldori Clan-Chiefs were left dead or dieing. The Dorlarian warriors escaped with only three injured and those by deflected blasts from the lightsabers.

Jaina still had nightmares where she would awake screaming. And even now as she remembered those last moments of her husband's life she sobbed. He was hit first in the chest when the Dorlarians decided to get rid of the pesky Jedi by overwhelming them with fire. Then she was hit in the shoulder which nearly knocked the saber from her hand. Kyp fought on trying to get to her as she tried to desperately get to him until he was hit again in the upper left abdomen just under the heart. He fell just before her and she crawled to him. By then the back up Woldor human force had made an entrance and the Dorlarians retreated because they then were outnumbered.

But Jaina knew nothing of this while she pulled Kyp onto her lap with her uninjured arm. She stroked his sweat dampened hair and sobbed his name. He opened his eyes to look at her. She knew that he was dieing. His green and brown flecked eyes were already becoming dull. His breathing was labored, his lungs punctured. His pulse was week and irregular. There was blood leaking from the corner of his mouth.

Jaina held him and leaned over him her face only centimeters from his. She gently kissed him and as her tears fell onto his face she whispered her voice anguished, "Please, Kyp don't leave me. I can't go on without you. I love you."

Kyp lifted a trembling hand to her cheek and wiped the tears away, then he rasped in a broken voice that did not sound at all like his, "Ja-i-na, I—love—you." Those were the last words he would ever say. His hand dropped away from her as the last of his breath escaped.

She rapped her arms around him more tightly. She completely ignored her own injury, the pain in her heart was a thousand times more painful then the flesh wound and blaster burn in her right shoulder. She wanted to hold him tight enough to keep his life force from leaving him. She knew this was futile but she did not want to let him go. His life did escape and she felt him go. Then his body began to become weightless and she watched in horror as he disappeared. She knew what happened; and although, later she would be glad he had so completely become one with the force, at the time she felt cheated. She didn't even have his body.

The wail she let out shattered the windows in the room and the water bulbs that survived the blaster fire that sat on the conference table, and was felt thousands of light years away by her family on Ossus.

She could not recall anything of those next two weeks. She knew she was in bacta for a while and then rescued by her worried parents and aunt and uncle. She knew there was a memorial service for Kyp at Ossus and the marker was placed. She knew that she was supported by her father throughout the service. She was even told that she spoke at it and that she spoke of their love and of their bond in the Force. She knew Zekk was there to lend his friendship and support. And she knew Jag Fel was there also to do the same thing. But she could not remember any of it. She only knew of these facts and events because she had been told about them not because she remembered them.

X

Another gust of wind blew over her and she shuddered as she hugged herself. She really should go in but she couldn't. She looked up at the stars again and sighed. The sky was completely black now with the stars scattered over it like diamonds over black velvet.

She sighed and turned her mind back to the very beginning of their relationship. She and Kyp had been friends for years, truth be told, since she was a child. But they were not in love with each other. Kyp had been her mentor and her best friend and she was his. They were comrades in arms during the Yuuzhan Vong War and at times her subordinate. In fact, at the time she was in love with someone else—Jagged Fel. No, love for them came unexpected

After the war, however, she and Jag went their separate ways but remained friends. She pursued helping her uncle and the other Jedi involved with building the new Academy on Ossus. Luke asked her to stay on and teach basic piloting skills to the older Jedi students and she agreed. She then found herself seeing more and more of Zekk who had taken a short term teaching position at the Academy and was possibly going to take his first Apprentice. They tried to pick up where they had left off years before. She knew Zekk had fallen for her all over again but she could not feel more than friendship for him. They ended there relationship and she was again all alone.

Then, she came up with the plan to actually create an actual Jedi pilot school at the Academy. She would teach more than just how to fly but more military training with simulators and instruction for the older students and Apprentices. Not that the Jedi were a military unit but she argued that during the war it was the Jedi who most often found themselves at the lead. She took her proposal to the Council on Coruscant.

And there met up with Kyp again. He really hadn't changed much in the two years since she had seen him last. The war had ended four years before and he spent most of his time with the Council. She presented her proposal and Kyp to her surprise had bombarded her with the most questions, to the point of infuriating and frustrating her. After the meeting she found him and laid into him.

"Kyp Durron," she called to him after they left the chamber and were on their way out. "What were you trying to do to me?"

He grinned and said, "Easy, Goddess, I was just trying to make the others see that this is important to you and that it is important to the Academy that's all." His grin became wider and he added, "Besides, you are rather beautiful when you are angry and frustrated.

She ignored the last remark and glared at him but she could not completely hide the blush his complement brought to her face. "Well, if you ask me, it was more like you were trying to hang me out to dry."

He laughed, "But, you only showed that you were very well prepared and if I hadn't been the one asking the questions someone else would have. I was only going to push you so far. I knew your limits."

She only stared at him.

"Hey," he put his arm around her shoulders and she let him. "How about joining me for lunch. I know this nice little place that just opened."

And that was the beginning.

Three months later they were walking in the garden at the Academy. Kyp seemed to find more excuses to end up there than ever. They were hand in hand and were headed for a small garden pond that contained a small waterfall and very colorful fish. They would come here because it was for the most part secluded and private. They watched and fed the fish in silence for a while then, Kyp pulled Jaina into his arms. She remembered feeling the quickening of her heart as he held her tight against him.

"Jaina, I never thought I'd say this to you. But I think I'm really falling in love with you. Is that too crazy for you to believe?" He looked into her eyes with those deep green eyes of his and she lost herself.

She had once told her brother Jacen that she could never fall in love with Kyp because he was her mentor and it just did not feel right. However, four years after saying those words she realized just how wrong they were. She flashed him a brilliant smile and tightened her arms around his neck, entwining her fingers into his long curling black and sliver hair. "No, I don't think you crazy. Because, I know I'm in love with you, Kyp."

She would never forget the smile he gave her then he bent down and captured her lips in a gentle kiss. He pulled away from her and gazed into her eyes as if asking if he could go further. She answered the silent question by pulling him down again and kissing him passionately.

Three months later in the same garden he asked her to be his wife.

Six months after that they were married there in a full Jedi wedding which Luke officiated and her friends and family witnessed.

And, one year, nine months later she was standing in the cold windy dark staring at a cold polished stone wondering why he was so wrongfully taken from her.

The wind seemed to echo her thoughts and she let her chin drop and the tears fall like a river from her broken hearted soul.

"Hello, Goddess."

She snapped her head up when she heard the voice on the wind. She slowly turned and looked in the direction it came. Her hand flew to her mouth as a gasp escaped while the other hand instinctively splayed over her huge belly.

"Kyp?" Her voice was a mere whisper.

The specter smiled and nodded, "I would say in the flesh but…"

She took two steps towards him when she realized she couldn't go into his arms. She stopped and let her arms drop. The tears began flowing again.

"Oh, Goddess, please don't cry. I didn't come back for you to cry."

"Why, Kyp? Why did you have to die?" The anguished voice nearly cracked.

The specter looked around and held out his nearly transparent arms then he turned his gaze back to her to say, "It is what the Force wanted. We should not question the Force, Jaina."

"But I loved you. I still do," she added quietly.

"Yes, I know." The ghost moved closer and reached out as if to lay a hand on her swollen middle. She could feel the touch as if it was real. Then after a moment she felt the babies stir and felt them reach for him. A bright smile lit up the specter's face and he looked into her eyes. "They are very strong. And very anxious to be born, I think."

She swallowed and smiled, "I think they will be born tonight."

He nodded and then slowly as if reluctantly pulled his hand back. He was quiet for a moment and she could only stare at him not knowing what to say. He broke the silence by carefully saying, "They should have a father, Jaina. Their lives will be hard."

"What—what do you mean?" She stammered she felt cold as if she knew what he meant.

"Jaina, you can't grieve for me forever." He gazed into her eyes and went on to say, "I know that both Jag and Zekk love you as much as I did," The specter made a motion as if he was swallowing and added, "As I still do."

"Kyp, I can't even think of loving someone else," she sobbed.

"Maybe not now but please, Jaina don't close yourself off. You will not be betraying me if you let yourself love again. You need that. My sons need that."

"I—I can't love anyone else, Kyp." She sobbed again and she felt his warm touch on her cheeks wiping the tears away. She closed her eyes. When she could no longer feel the touch she opened them. Kyp was gone. "I love you," she whispered.

She then heard on the wind, "Tell them that I love them."

A moment later she felt a tightening in her abdomen that became pain. "Awwww!"

Ten hours later she gave birth to twin sons, Kyp and Zeth Solo-Durron.

X

20 years later:

Master Jedi Jaina Solo-Durron stood sandwiched between her newly Knighted twenty year old sons before the polished stone marker for Kyp Durron. The sun was setting and the air was cooling.

She never did remarry; although, her sons had never were lacking a father figure. She had tried to heed Kyp's request that she try to love again but she couldn't. Jag and Zekk and even a few others had tried but she never could love them.

Zekk who had been with her the night she gave birth had been the first to ask for her hand but she could not love him more than as a friend. Jag came back into her life several months after the twins' birth. He instantly took to the babies and he too had eventually asked her to marry him again but she couldn't. She still loved Kyp. The two men finally gave up realizing that they would honor Jaina best by being her friend and helping raise her sons as best as possible.

She dedicated her life to the Jedi Order and to her sons and eventually found happiness.

Kyp, who looked so much like his name sake it sometimes made Jaina stop and just stare at him, said, "Do you think he would have been proud of us?"

Jaina looked up at him and then turned to Zeth while she squeezed them around her waists she smiled and said with conviction, "I know he would have been more than proud. He loved you."

Zeth chucked, and she looked at him. He had lighter hair and brown eyes but he too had enough of his father's personality to remind her of Kyp. He said after the brief chuckle, "You say that as if he told you. But you told us he didn't even know you were pregnant when he died."

"I didn't, but I knew." The mother and her sons turned to see the specter of Kyp Durron standing with the setting sun to his back.

"Kyp," Jaina breathlessly said. She felt the young men tense. She looked up at them and smiled, "Boys meet your father. Kyp, this is Kyp and Zeth."

The specter nodded and smiled.

"Father?" They both said in shocked unison.

The specter continued to smile and said, "I don't have much time. I just wanted to tell you that I am indeed proud of you and that I do love you."

"I still love you, Kyp," Jaina said softly.

"I know." He smiled and went on to add as he began to fade, "And I still love you."

Jaina watched and smiled. She didn't feel the aguish she had before she only felt convinced that they had something truly wonderful: an undying love.

Fin


End file.
